The Transformation of Elopement: From Social Stigma to Practical Solution: A Comparative Study of Elopement Practices Among Indonesian Youth
Abstract
This research examines the transformation of meanings and practices of elopement among Indonesian youth, which has shifted from being a stigma to becoming a pragmatic solution in facing contemporary socio-economic challenges. Through comparative analysis across 18 different regions in Indonesia, this research reveals how elopement has evolved from being traditionally stigmatized to an increasingly accepted alternative for young couples. Utilizing a mixed-method approach combining document analysis, semi-structured interviews with 10 young couples, and comparative regional studies, this research identifies three primary economic drivers: rising costs of traditional weddings (ranging from 20 to 500 million rupiah), pressure to own a house before marriage, and changing financial priorities among youth. The findings indicate that urban youth are actively reinterpreting traditional practices to meet modern demands while maintaining cultural legitimacy. This research documents various regional terms and practices, from merariq in Lombok, which is considered honorable, to silariang in Bugis/Makassar society, which is still viewed as a disgrace. This transformation reflects broader changes in Indonesian society, where pragmatic considerations increasingly take precedence over traditional cultural rules, although elements of traditional practices are often preserved through modified forms that accommodate both cultural heritage and modern realities.
References
Abdullah, M. (2011). Pandangan masyarakat terhadap kawin lari (paru de’ko) akibat tingginya mahar: Studi kasus di Kabupaten Ende, Flores, NTT. Universitas Islam Negeri Maulana Malik Ibrahim.
Achmad, S. I., & Westley, S. B. (1999). Indonesian survey looks at adolescent reproductive health. Asia-Pacific Population and Policy, 51, 1 – 4.
Albattat, A., Joseph, T. A., & Mazlan, A. A. (2022). The Impact of Modernization on Malay Weddings. In Event Tourism in Asian Countries (pp. 87–96). Apple Academic Press.
Arios, R. L. (2014). Peran lembaga adat di era otonomi daerah di Kabupaten Ogan Komering Ilir: Morge Siwe. Balai Pelestarian Nilai Budaya Sumatera Barat.
Asni, & Kamaruddin. (2018). Maddeceng: A Family Reconciliation in Bugis Community on Maslahat’s Perspective. IOP Conference Series: Earth and Environmental Science, 175(1). https://doi.org/10.1088/1755-1315/175/1/012133
Ayumi, A. Y., Teguh, S., & Mukh Doyin. (2022). The Tradition of The Batak Toba Tribe Marriage in The Novel “Mangalua” By Idris Pasaribu. Seloka: Jurnal Pendidikan Bahasa Dan Sastra Indonesia, 11(2), 113–121.
Azwar, A., Sumardin, A., & Umar, I. (2021). Eksistensi Perkawinan Silariang dan Penyelesaiannya dalam Hukum Adat ditinjau dari Perspektif Hukum Islam. Al-Tafaqquh: Journal of Islamic Law. https://doi.org/10.33096/altafaqquh.v2i2.156
Baranyanan, S. D., & Handayani, I. R. (2019). Implementation of The Values Sasi Customary Law in the Formation of Regional Regulations on Environmental Sector. 3rd International Conference on Globalization of Law and Local Wisdom (ICGLOW 2019), 309–312.
Barman, D. D., & Nabachandra, H. (2014). Pattern of sexual assault cases in Manipur. Journal of Forensic Medicine and Toxicology, 31(1), 67 – 70.
Borshchevskiy, G. (2022). References to the Russan Society’s Values in the Presidential Addresses to the Federal Assembly; [Отражение ценностей российского общества в Посланиях Президента Федеральному Собранию1]. Russian Sociological Review, 21(3), 84 – 103. https://doi.org/10.17323/1728-192x-2022-3-84-103
Bréchon, P. (2019). The evolution of values: On Ronald Inglehart’s cultural evolution: People’s motivations are changing, and reshaping the world; [L’évolution des valeurs: À propos du livre de Ronald Inglehart les transformations culturelles. Comment les valeurs des individ. Futuribles: Analyse et Prospective, 2019-Febru(428), 17 – 31.
Chandler, S. (2008). Teaching & Learning Guide for: The Social Ethic of Religiously Unaffiliated Spirituality. Religion Compass, 2(2), 257 – 260. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1749-8171.2008.00065.x
Cherlin, A., & Chamratrithirong, A. (1988). Variations in marriage patterns in central Thailand. Demography, 25(3), 337–353. https://doi.org/10.2307/2061536
Delameillieure, C. (2016). That they “haers dancks ende moetswillen gegaen es”: The elopement and marriage strategy in fifteenth-century Leuven; [Dat zij ’haers dancks ende moetswillen gegaen es’]. Tijdschrift Voor Sociale En Economische Geschiedenis, 13(2), 77 – 100. https://doi.org/10.5117/TSEG2016.2.DELA
Dolosi, A., Zein, M., & Abdullah, B. H. (2022). Tinjauan Hukum Islam terhadap Sikolodha Adat Galela di Halmahera Utara. Indonesian Journal of Shariah and Justice, 2(1), 1–22.
Firmansyah, Sukirno, & Sudaryatmi, S. (2017). Kedudukan Anak dalam Perkawinan Adat Ngerorod (Kawin Lari) di Desa Padang Sambian Kaja, Kecamatan Denpasar Barat, Denpasar. Diponegoro Law Journal.
Guillot, E. G., Hazelton, M. L., Karafet, T. M., Lansing, J. S., Sudoyo, H., & Cox, M. P. (2015). Relaxed Observance of Traditional Marriage Rules Allows Social Connectivity without Loss of Genetic Diversity. Molecular Biology and Evolution, 32(9), 2254–2262. https://doi.org/10.1093/molbev/msv102
Hamdani, F., & Fauzia, A. (2022). Tradisi Merariq dalam Kacamata Hukum Adat dan Hukum Islam. Jurnal Hukum Lex Generalis. https://doi.org/10.56370/jhlg.v3i6.245
Hasan, H., Jubba, H., Abdullah, I., Pabbajah, M., & Rahman R, A. (2022). Londo iha: Elopement and bride kidnapping amongst the Muslims of Monta, Bima, Indonesia. Cogent Social Sciences, 8(1). https://doi.org/10.1080/23311886.2021.2023973
Indrayanti, I., & Duma, I. (2021). Silariang : Cinta yang Terhalang. Jurnal Komunikasi Korporasi Dan Media (JASIMA). https://doi.org/10.30872/jasima.v1i2.20
Isaeva, V. B. (2019). Deprivation theory as a tool to study non-traditional religiousity. Sotsiologicheskie Issledovaniya, 2019(9), 39 – 50. https://doi.org/10.31857/S013216250006656-4
Ismawati, Basti, & Zainuddin, K. (2022). Rasa Bersalah Remaja Yang Melakukan Silariang ( Kawin Lari ). Jurnal Psikologi Talenta Mahasiswa.
Kumar, L., Agarwal, S. S., Puwar, T., & Chavali, K. H. (2009). Medicosocial & medicolegal aspects of sexual offences: The current scenario in an urban location of Western India. Medico-Legal Update, 9(1), 6 – 8.
Machado, M. C. R., Lenzi, F. C., & Verdú, C. A. P. (2020). The Discourse Analysis In Social Entrepreneurship: The Case Of Rede Ivg – Brazil; [A Análise Do Discurso Em Empreendedorismo Social: O Caso Da Rede Ivg-Brasil]. New Trends in Qualitative Research, 4, 271 – 287. https://doi.org/10.36367/ntqr.4.2020.271-287
Manasikana, R. A., Noviani, R., & others. (2021). Peran Media Massa dan Teknologi dalam Transformasi Keintiman di Indonesia. Calathu: Jurnal Ilmu Komunikasi, 3(1), 7–19.
Maucash. (2020). Berapa Biaya Nikah Lo? Nikah Modal 25 JT - 500 JT.
McGovern, S. J. (1997). Political culture as a catalyst for political change in American cities. Critical Sociology, 23(1), 81 – 114. https://doi.org/10.1177/089692059702300104
Megawati, M., Basri, R., Suhartina, S., & Muchsin, A. (2022). The Phenomenon of Silariang in Legal Sociology Review. Jurnal Marital: Kajian Hukum Keluarga Islam. https://doi.org/10.35905/marital_hki.v1i2.3365
Moleong, L. J. (2021). Metodologi penelitian kualitatif. PT Remaja Rosdakarya.
Muhsin, M. R. (2017). Pergeseran Makna Aturan Adat Pada Kasus Kawin Lari “Belarian” di Masyarakat Tanah Abang Jaya, Tanah Abang, Penukal Abab Lematang Ilir, Sumatera Selatan. E-Societas: Jurnal Pendidikan Sosiologi, 6(4).
Nafi’ah, H. A., Fahmi, C., & Tarantang, J. (2024). Exploring the Social and Economic Implications of Talaq in Islamic Law. Antmind Review: Journal of Sharia and Legal Ethics, 1(1), 23–30.
Narasi. (2022). Biaya Nikah: Kalo Bisa 20 Juta, Kenapa Harus 200 Juta? | Namanya Juga Lyfe.
Nasir, M. A. (2020). Religion, Law, and Identity: Contending Authorities on Interfaith Marriage in Lombok, Indonesia. Islam and Christian–Muslim Relations, 31(2), 131–150. https://doi.org/10.1080/09596410.2020.1773618
Ningrum, A. A., & Yoesoef, M. (2020). Buke Palang Pintu Betawi: Cultural revitalization through modification. In Nusantara’s Indigenous Knowledge.
Ningsih, I. (2016). Perkawinan Munik (Kawin Lari) pada Suku Gayo di Kecamatan Atu Lintang Kabupaten Aceh Tengah. Jurnal Ilmiah Mahasiswa Pendidikan Kewarganegaraan.
Oristayana, O. (2022). Pelaksanaan Perkawinan Adat Di Desa Sungai Pinang Kecamatan Pujud Kabupaten Rokan Hilir. Universitas Islam Riau.
Platt, M. (2012). “It’s Already Gone Too Far”: Women and the Transition into Marriage in Lombok, Indonesia. Asia Pacific Journal of Anthropology, 13(1), 76 – 90. https://doi.org/10.1080/14442213.2011.636063
Rachman, A. (2021). Akibat Hukum Kawin Lari Berdasarkan Undang-Undang Perkawinan di Indonesia. Universitas Islam kalimantan MAB.
Ridwan, M. (2024). Transformasi Hukum Keluarga Islam Di Era Digital: Analisis Sosiologi Hukum Terhadap Regulasi Perkawinan dan Perceraian Di Indonesia. Al-Istinbath: Jurnal Ilmu Hukum Dan Hukum Keluarga Islam, 1(1), 11–20.
Rismawidiawati, Syamsurijal, Syuhudi, M. I., Halimatusa’diah, Zubir, Z., Asmunandar, & Keraf, P. M. M. (2024). Beyond Tradition: Exploring Alternative Marital Strategies for Belis in the Southwest Sumba Regency. Journal of Population and Social Studies, 33, 127 – 142. https://doi.org/10.25133/JPSSV332025.007
Rivan, P. A. N., & Deku, Y. M. (2024). Menggali Faktor Penyebab Kawin Lari Pada Masyarakat Adat Di Desa Wolowiro Kec. Paga Kabupaten Sikka. FUSION, 1(1), 36–43.
Salle, S., & Wahab, M. (2022). Analysis of Positive Legal Sources on the Implementation Bugis Customary Sanctions of Makassar for Silariang Actor. Jurnal Akta. https://doi.org/10.30659/akta.v9i1.20619
Saputra, H. S. P., Angelina, D., Muhamad, A. B. R., & Samosir, M. (2024). Kearifan Lokal: Representasi Tradisi Kawin Lari dalam Karya Sastra. Arif: Jurnal Sastra Dan Kearifan Lokal, 3(2), 240–265.
Sista, S., Niampe, L., & Nurtikawati, N. (2019). Tradisi Mombolasuako (Kawin Lari) dalam Perkawinan Adat Tolaki di Desa Tiraosu Kecamatan Kolono Kabupaten Konawe Selatan. LISANI: Jurnal Kelisanan, Sastra, Dan Budaya, 2(2), 68–75.
Syah, I., & Arafah, S. S. (2014). Tradisi Sebambangan (Larian) Pada Masyarakat Adat Lampung Pepadun Di Kampung Srimenanti Kabupaten Waykanan.
Syufa’at, & Muchimah. (2023). The Shifting Meaning of Walīmatul ‘Urs in the Era of Society 5.0 in Indonesia: Islamic Law Perspective. Samarah, 7(3), 1514 – 1535. https://doi.org/10.22373/sjhk.v7i3.18765
Szarfenberg, R. (2023). Modernization theory in explaining the dynamics of democratisation and dedemocratisation in Poland. In The Democratization Process of Poland and Taiwan: Comparative Perspective.
Tambunan, H. H., Sembiring, R., Sembiring, I. A., & Afnila, A. (2023). Fenomena Marlojong Pada Masyarakat Hukum Adat Mandailing di Kecamatan Panyabungan Kabupaten Mandailing Natal. Locus Journal of Academic Literature Review, 566–575.
Van Haute, E., Pilet, J.-B., & Sandri, G. (2013). Still religious parties in Belgium?: The decline of the denominational cleavage in Belgian consociational democracy. In Politics of Religion in Western Europe (pp. 144–169). Routledge.
Copyright (c) 2024 Nurlaila Harun, Hisam Ahyani, Indrius Kuklys, Supaprawat Siripipatthanakul
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
